you were worth the hassle

You were always just saying. You hated annoying people. I was always talking too loud. I was scared to go tubing. I never knew what to say.
I was always wishing i could run away. I held the rope when you set up your giant homemade hanging bed. You wanted something you could work on every day. You wanted to be a white collar criminal; i wanted to be a master thief. I got scared before you did, but you got scared before i did.
You hated friends who changed with the company. I thought my friends should have been your friends because they were my friends.
We both loved the night. There were some things we could only talk about after twelve. You loved dramas. It was usually you that called. I knew that i could call you when i hurt, but i can’t remember if i ever did. We usually changed our minds when we thought we didn’t want to be friends.
I hid upstairs with you when your ex showed up. You wanted to go on a road trip. I let serious things drop because i was scared. When you got drunk in my basement, i found out you weren’t lying. We talked through six and seven hour rides. You were always sticking up for me. You were a big part of the reason i believed in forgiveness.
A lot of the time, i was soft spoken, and a lot of the time, i didn’t get angry. You made the tee shirts for our trip, and secretly that blew my mind. You laughed a lot, but only with me. I knew all about you, but i didn’t know much about you. We were always making our own games.You hated that i was usually stubborn and always afraid. I hated that you always had to have your way. You hated that i was always critical. I hated that you had nothing to say at the end. I could see what was happening to you, and it killed me. Sometimes I think this was all my fault.
You slept with a mosquito net over your bed. I was afraid to be alone. Sometimes, when it really mattered, you would change your mind. I’ve only ever cried over two people. Sometimes, we would talk about my books.

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