radical mysticism

We live in an exceptional world. Hate is a master which I will not serve in this, my only life. We must be bold and courageous.

What will happen in the end is not worth worrying about. What will happen in the end is that we will all turn to dust and the stars will burst in the sky with no one left to see them, and every last proton will eventually decay and the universe return to nothing, as it was born, from nothing.

But not truly nothing.

I care how I will live my life, whether It will have made a good story and whether I will be glad to have lived it, whether I will have cared about my life and whether while I lived I will have truly been alive. I am conscious. I am alive. I am real.

The universe is nothing which has for a time been made into something. It is not even dust. It is, ultimately, math. But I am a person. I am more than the circumstances of my origin. I stand before the void with the demeanor of a lion and call it nothing. The universe ultimately does not exist, but I do exist, and so, even if there hadn’t been one already, there would be now at least one immortal in the halls of heaven. This I know.

The origin of my life is nothing, but I am not nothing. I am alive, and real. And so, if only in me, life has entered into the inanimate and reality has entered into nothingness; existence has entered into nonexistence. Reality is not of the universe. Life is a foreign invader to it. As mathematical principles describe the universe but are not themselves the universe ; I live life, but am not life. I find reality expressed neither by the coldness of the void, nor by intellectual detachment, nor by last moment of time, but by the experience of existing, the passion of wishing to do so, and the present minute and second.

What is real is more than me, but not the world, the triumphant battlecry of the almighty God.

Not the God of the philosophers, but the God of Abraham, whose fury spat out the universe and burns in the hearts of men. Not an abstraction or an idea, but the very thing which I cannot contain within ideas, that which I can know only through paradox, and yet must know. Not an inaccessible clockmaker, but a force of nature with all the personality of the most complex human person and more proximity. Not a safe bet, indeed, an imminent threat.

What is first is not nothing, but everything. It is love. The name of God is so holy that it must never touch the tongues of men, it is incomprehensible and ancient, self existent and glorified. Even to look upon God is death. God is active, incarnated, a warrior and an interventionist, a lover of men and a moved mover, subject to the doing of deeds and to change. He is the holiest of holies, set apart by his very nature, and he is incarnation.

God is a doer of deeds, and the deed to which he has set out is incarnation, begetting, speaking. The word of God is that which he has to say, the action of God and his full expression, the heart of God. The word is a glorification of the name, for itself it seeks no glory. It derives all of its power, intention, and initiative from the name. The word is God, and God can be seen and touched- God eats.

The name is to speak the word, and the word is to glorify the name; it is impossible to consider either independently of the other. They are defined by their relationship to one another- one the source and the power and the intention, giving itself entirely to the other, bestowing all of its power and glory upon the other, and the other perfectly glorifying the one, expressing and embodying it.

The relationship of the word to the name is becoming- the word becomes the name. Becoming is the act of God. It is the experience of existing, selfhood, and when done between two as it is in God, it is love. To become oneself is to have a self, to live. To become another is to live in a new way entirely, to love, and its final triumph is the identification with other as self. The name of God becomes itself. This is the actor. The word of God becomes itself. This is the action. The name of God and the word of God become one another. This is the acting.

God embodies the experience of existing, but not as a self enclosed identity alone- he embodies the experience of existing with others and forming new experience between two existences in the identification with other as self. And he does this through what we know as compassion- the stronger forsaking all right and dignity to embrace the weaker, not even egalitarianism but an utter rejection of domination and self enclosure in favor of pure self-sacrifice: the lower refusing even to rebel as the higher refuses to rule.

This is why I have said that God is incarnation. He is becoming, but not only becoming: the higher becoming the lower, the stronger becoming the weaker, the source becoming the begotten. Christ’s submission to his Father is as important a part of the incarnation as God’s outrageous act of taking on flesh. And the Holy Spirit is the incarnation.

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