What the hell is with me? Why can’t i ever think clearly?
Go on and be far away from me. I won’t say a word. I’ll pull my nails out every night and drown my devices and never bother you. Wish you’d never crossed my path. Wish i’d never waste your time again. Wish i’d never crossed your path. Hope i never waste your time again.
You were the first, you weren’t the last. But you were the first. I will never, ever tell you that; i’m vindictive, but i’m not a monster. I will never let you find out that. No one who hurts me is ever alone, you with silence, and i with steel. It probably would’ve happened anyway. Please don’t feel bad. I didn’t tell you. I’ll never tell you.
Write these words down just to keep from screaming them. Everything that’s ever been with the exception of me has been good. Such a beautiful world, and only one imperfection. Imperfect like you thought you were but weren’t. A gaping hole in a beautiful universe. Goddamn it.
Black. Black. Black. It’s an empty goddamn night. I’m just like you, never had nothing to say to me. Finally there’s nothing left of me to say anything.
By talking you show that you’re alive. By my silence i will show that i don’t deserve to be. I’d finish it tonight if i thought it’d make any difference. Nobody would be glad; nobody would even notice. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.