A little kid got a birthday present from his parents
it sprouted
and took root
in his half formed sense of self
he cried a little more than other kids
when the principal called again.
It grew into
a guilt the size of an evergreen.
Its fur was soft at first
he thought it was his friend.

If you had taken this from me
it would have destroyed me
i would have tried again.

Nothing you could take from me now
i haven’t wasted anyway.
Every day it gets harder
to try again.
Wish i died when i was ten.
My hair is matted now
Nothing inside
but stuffing
and the disappointment
everyone who loves me
tries to hide
when they look at me
but can’t.

I want it back.

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