i know

These odd moments of lucidity
like oases in the desert of my mind
having soul means fighting in God’s war
and dying for what you wanted to live for.
These islands of clarity jutting from the seas of insanity
these demons getting hold of me,
i’m losing
my grip
on me
i’m losing
track
of who
you
want me to be.
I think I wanted
to be
free.
Now cue me, before
I burn
you know
i’ll burn
i’ll burn us
all.
When i look back
it’s obvious to me
you all did everything
everything that you could think of to avoid
an ending that will surprise no one
it’s always been
an almost pure
inevitability,
and in all probability,
it all will have been for nothing
but God, I’m glad you tried.
Even if I fall to the fires of hell
still i will sing from the darkness
holy is God.
At his name
every knee should bend.
He gave me grace
amazing grace that I did not deserve.
And you, you all deserve
you deserve to be loved
in that alone I’ve paid you all your due.
Whatever it is
in our grandfather’s blood
is in mine.
It’s only
a matter
of time.
I saw it in the circles of blood on the floor
i know i don’t have much more
time with you
I’m
bleeding time
and the voices come to me
in my sleep
to say I’m dying.
And I say thank you
thank you all, for trying.

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4 comments
  1. aleashaa said:

    we are trapped in chains of uncertainty and a probability of the end that alarms our fear. Lucid writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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