Tell me your secrets.

I wish I could tell you something that would break your heart.

I bet if I could see my future it would horrify me, cause I’ve always been a horror to my past self, every other time that time has passed before, and I just can’t bring myself to think about it. It isn’t set in stone yet so I don’t have to believe it. I don’t have to believe it but I’m making it. How can I find the courage to be anything more than this? I never have been.

You can believe anything but it won’t save you from being what you are.

The dawn’s coming. Adjust your eyes to the light. The dawn is coming.

I’m just everything, and you’re just everything to me.

Alright I got a story for you. You know the iconic ‘man raging against the heavens’? Well, that man screamed with all his might but God don’t work that way so eventually he just went home dog wet from the rain disappointed and confused and in just the same way that he rode home on the public buses every other ordinary weekday afternoon. Not sure about his next move and wondering whether the heavens might have just said “after killing me, what were you gonna do next?” that is if he still believed in them or in anything else apart from endings. And I’ll scream and I’ll scream alone into a world that isn’t listening to me, until I don’t scream cause God knows God breathed only so much into me. Honestly I’d love to breathe again but we all know that heaven comes from within. I made the air in my lungs water and the air outside cried for light. Morning day and night might as well be horoscopes as far as they affect my life. I’m glad to hear you’re looking out for me but just do me a favor and don’t.

Okay, here goes. Up in the attic, you know that old bookshelf where the only copy of  granddad’s manuscript is? Well I’ve been thinking lately that we ought to publish it. I figure that it’s all we’ve got left of him, and you know we’re better off sharing him with the world than trying to keep him in. We’d be selfish not to and staying inside with family forever corrupts you. Even good things taken too far become bad things.

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