Somewhere far off beyond the trees a deer drinks from a clear stream
if you creep up on it, you can be sure that it will leap away, so quick you’ll be
wondering if it was just one of those things that you see in a dark patch of earth through the corner of your eye
but if you stand very still and hold your breath then this moment might just last a little bit longer
and you can believe that it’s real for a few more minutes
until a change in the wind betrays your position
or the sun sets on all of this
so treasure it while you can
without calling it yours.
Sometimes in winter people fall through the ice out here,
late to a perfect black
and they’re on their way back home from being out with friends, but now alone-
I have always hated those moments by the way, they remind me of the feeling of being up all night, like I am up all night tonight, on this night that I’m spending all alone-
they slip on the banks and get swept away,
and they stay under the freezing mountain runoff rain down the valley as the minutes run by like the ice in their veins
and their muscles don’t listen to them when they say
pull me out of this one so I can spend just one more day among the ones I love and under the sun I love
and I will make amends to everyone I’ve wronged
and I will give you anything you ask of me,
just see me through this one.
I believe in God for today
and I hope it doesn’t end on a minor chord.
I am familiar with darkness and I love the universe.
I spent so long saying
that I wish you’d hurt as much for me as I always did for you.
I’m finally ready to say
I hope you never have to
go through what I went through
so I’m glad you’re okay.
I hope you can be happy.
don’t need you
for me to be.
The parallel lines of my blinds
are shining on my bedroom wall
and the sky outside is turning white
as are the parallel lines on my wrist
so I must conclude
that I have come through
the worst of it. It still hurts all the time and
not a single day goes by
that I don’t think of you
but I can see
the daylight breaking through.